Belonging to the "Club"

I am a reluctant member of the melanoma club. I did not want to join, but fate and hours of sunbathing as a young person (in my teens and 20s) qualified me as I received the horrible news of being diagnosed with stage IV melanoma in December  of 2010.

It really struck this weekend, as I began to notice all of the hundreds of us who have been affected by melanoma cancer. I have SO MANY cyber friends that are a part of this club. We often call ourselves "melahomies."  Some of us have passed away....some of us are actively fighting....and some of us are blessed to be NED.

BUT, there are too many us. I HATE cancer. I HATE what cancer did to my family. I HATE that my family had to watch me go through the horrific treatments. I HATE that so many people do not make it through the treatments and or their cancer wins...because melanoma is a malevolent force and can be resistant to traditional medicine. 

I try so hard to be a positive person, but sometimes I feel angry at cancer and I feel angry to be a part of the melanoma club. Ignorance is bliss....and I am not ignorant about melanoma.

I will always pay a lot in medical bills as I need to be constantly monitored as melanoma likes to return. I will always feel the hole in my left armpit, and the numbness on my left side from the removal of the tumor that had wrapped around my brachial plexus nerve. Most people will not know I went through any of that....

I hope a day comes that I do not think about cancer....but that day is not today.

I am comforted that if I had a reoccurrence I have so many people to support me and my family...and I will continue to reach out to other people in the "melanoma club." I am grateful to be alive.