STAND TOGETHER

Today was the AIM Walk / RUN to raise $$ for melanoma research and awareness. I met 2 brave women who are in the trenches of fighting melanoma!  I know what it feels like to be in their shoes and I realize the benefit of standing together and supporting one another in the fight against cancer!  

I am happy to be HERE and BE ALIVE to lend what support I can, by standing with other FIGHTERS.  

WE WILL FIGHT ON & STAND TOGETHER!
#WatchOutMelanoma2015

SHOUT OUT for ALL CANCER WARRIORS!!

Today I ran..... every step I took I dedicated to someone fighting cancer and / or someone who passed.

I run for Jillian.... she passed away in December of 2012..... I run for Tina who fought while I did...with a different outcome ..... I run for Steve Martin who endured biochemo and made it to NED, & Suzanne, Mark, and Rich!!  I run for my facebook friend Jennifer, who has been fighting and living with brain mets down under!  

You cannot see all our scars...but we have them.

I run for ALL fighters out there!!

Melanoma is more than JUST SKIN CANCER & IT KILLS!!

JUST A REMINDER for everyone who thinks you can just cut it out!

gone too soon....

you are missed everyday

Every month is Melanoma Awareness Month for me.....

As with so many other melanoma survivors, melanoma awareness month is every month for me. I am always trying to think of ways to spread awareness and am always caught off guard when people seem surprised that I almost died from skin cancer.

I am not shy about my experiences with melanoma and tell anyone and everyone. Recently, a coworker mentioned a friend telling her that his parent had skin cancer and it turned into another cancer in his liver and he was getting checked to see if it had gone to his brain.  Sounds like melanoma to me!!!

How do we get the word out that melanoma is WAY more than "JUST SKIN CANCER!!"  ???

HOW DO WE GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND A SUNBURN CAN BE SO DANGEROUS??

I am not quite sure..... most people do not want to talk about cancer.

I know it is hard to talk about cancer.  I do not want to talk about it, but my life depends upon being knowledgeable about cancer. My life will always take me to a cancer center for scan results, which I PRAY will always show I am NED.

I am not sure how to tell people and convince them that melanoma is so much more than just something you can cut out. IT IS DEADLY.

I HATE you CANCER

Dear Melanoma,

I really HATE you.I do not hate a lot of things, but you I HATE. WHAT I hate especially about you is how you made my family think they would lose me. I hate how sad everyone was when they saw me, sick and skinny and bald.  BUT, guess what?  I AM WINNING!  Next month I will see my daughter graduate high school!  This photo is when she'd come see me when I was in treatment, and it ROCKED her world thinking I was going to be gone.

I am 4 years NED and I PRAY everyday you never enter my life again. Every step I take, EVERY veggie I eat, EVERY negative thought I banish from my brain is done to KEEP you away.  LEAVE us alone!

I would end this sincerely or love, but I'd rather say F U!!!

Strong Steph staying strong, signing out!

Christmas Wish

I know it is March 22nd, but recently my husband and I found a Christmas letter from our daughter from 2010.

She asked for a cell phone because her Mom has cancer and has to go away.

It breaks my heart to think about what cancer did to my family. BUT, that is now in the past and the whole cancer experience seems like a bad dream.

As I ponder the WHY of getting sick.... I know the answers to this are not for my brain. I am blessed to be here and my goal now is to continue to give out HOPE and POSITIVE energy to those who are fighting a late stage cancer diagnosis.

I will continue to spread awareness as Melanoma is one of the fastest growing cancers. 

I titled this blog "back to life...." to chronicle life after surviving melanoma....& I wasn't sure how long I would be writing as statistics gave me 8-10% chance of surviving 5 years about diagnosis.

For those who passed on....  it is easier to die than live is something I have told my husband. If I had died, I was the lucky one to end my suffering.... and there have been days I thought, "I am alive for THIS?" 

At the end of my treatment my beloved little mountain school was closed and my family had to move so I could keep a job ( because we wanted insurance I was pretty sure my boss was trying to get rid of me) and as a result of the move our daughter suffered severe depression and we lost our dream cabin. I stayed alive for this??  

I beat the beast and I am here to send angels into the world and love and HOPE.

Random Thoughts

As you get farther away from cancer treatment, life begins to take on a "regular" pace. And that is just fine with me.... BUT, thoughts of cancer are always present.

BIG THINGS I have learned:
1) there are no big things!
2) life is precious!
3) if I don't have enough $ for all my bills, it's ok to have a pile of bills I can't pay
4) did I say Life is PRECIOUS? well , it is......

I know some people are still fighting and I will continue to pray for them.

I HOPE my story of hope can help someone out there.

sidenote: I had a good friend die after fighting breast cancer for years, back a few years ago. She had wanted to see her daughter graduate. She did not get to.... My BEAUTIFUL daughter will graduate in May and I AM ALIVE TO SEE IT!!  I LOVE YOU ALLISON!!

SHOUT OUT to CAREGIVERS

Lately I have been thinking a lot about caregivers.  Over the winter holiday, I visited my Mom in her small retirement style apartment. I saw her comfy recliner which I set in while I stayed with her during my cancer treatments.


It was HORRIBLY HARD for those around me to watch as I lost weight and got weaker and weaker. I can never truly say THANK YOU enough to everyone who took care of me.


Caregivers for cancer patients have such a difficult road to travel as their loved ones fight.  They face the bills coming in every week.... they ponder how life would be alone, without their spouse/parent/sister/brother/child. It is a REAL concern for those with family members in cancer treatment.

I always felt bad for putting my family through the cancer and hated watching the sadness in their faces.

We have all moved on, and now live as if I will live....as I am ALIVE.  But, it doesn't escape us that a recurrence is a real possibility.

FOR ALL CAREGIVERS, BLESS YOU!!  Thank you for sacrificing so much so we can get through the treatments and remember to take time for you!  Go to lunch, see a movie, and remember to get help to care for us...... it is a hard thing to do alone.

LOVE to the members of Team Stephanie who helped me SURVIVE:  Linda Yates, Kathryn Yates, Amy Yates, Chris Bowen, and my daughter Allison.

It takes  TEAM  to deal with a cancer diagnosis.