Memories

        The brain works in mysterious ways. Yesterday I was listening to music and heard a song by Train. Now most people know how much I LOVE the Dave Matthews Band, but I do listen to other bands. Mom and I would listen to a great live CD of Train while driving to Santa Monica to see my doctors. My favorite song during treatment was "Calling All Angels" by Train. I prayed and prayed that Angels would help me through my painful treatments and that Angels would help my family if I did not survive.

        I hear Train's lead singer, Patrick Monahan, and I think of those very scary drives to Santa Monica. It was a 2 hour one way drive from Mom's house. We spent a lot of time in traffic. It was too much time to wonder if the scans would come back showing the cancer was going away. We could never be sure.

        This last summer I drove on the 405 freeway, right past the Wilshire Blvd exit for the Angeles Clinic. I was sick to my stomach. Memories came flooding back.

Fighting cancer is something that will always be with me. You cannot see the scars that I feel everyday. You cannot even tell I was sick. I like it that way.

   I will always send angel cards to those fighting cancer. I do not care what kind of cancer it is, CANCER SUCKS!!!

    I do not have any BIG epiphanies to share.... just sharing helps me feel better. The ghost of cancer is never far from my mind.... yet I will go out today and celebrate that I am alive!!

Have A great Saturday!!

Go get your feet wet!

Getting Older

Lately, I have been thinking about getting older. When I was diagnosed with cancer I did not think that I would see my 41st birthday.... I did not know if I was going to age anymore. 
When I was really sick I stopped thinking about anything other than beating cancer and how would my family deal with my death?

So, the other day, when I got my pictures from our school photo day, I thought, " I sure look wrinkly and old!" And then, I thought, that is GREAT!!  I am ageing!!

I saw an older couple today, walking hand in hand, and thought, " My husband and I get to be old together."

Ageing is okay with me. I will get wrinkled. I will see my daughter graduate high school. I will get older. And that is good with me! I am happy to be here!

Blessings for all those who are fighting cancer and all those who are caregivers to fighters. Cancer SUCKS and yet, there are those of us who have beat it!! 

HUGS to Everyone!!

And a special CONGRATULATIONS to Chelsea on getting married!! She did not let a cancer diagnosis get her down!!

Everyday Life

I was cleaning my kitchen this morning, and I was thinking about how, like all other Moms, I sometimes get annoyed at doing chores....then I remember not being able to hardly walk 6 feet to a bathroom. I am here, I am doing my chores, I am cooking for my family, I am laughing with my daughter at silly animal videos on Youtube....

In 2011, I did not know if I was going to survive.


My life today is somewhat normal....we are back to normal routines of school, cooking, and laundry. The daily activities that fill so many houses...yet in our house, there is the memory of facing cancer. My husband and I are very good friends and we were discussing how we feel we are just now recovering from the shock of cancer, losing our home, and moving. Along with that, our daughter suffered severe depression and we almost lost her to suicide. 2011 was a doozy of a BAD YEAR for the Bowen Family.

Why do I bring this up? Why do I continue to post pictures of myself sick and fighting cancer....why?

I know there are people out there right now, fighting some kind of cancer. It may not be melanoma, it may be breast cancer, ovarian cancer, or lung cancer. I am here to share HOPE for those fighting. I am here to let people know that some of us live after a death sentence was handed down. I pray DAILY for those who are actively fighting this UGLY - UGLY disease: CANCER.

My life will always have the before cancer time and the after cancer time. I will do my best to be thankful for today, to be grateful I can stand and clean the kitchen and chop veggies for a delicious soup for my family.

And if my test results came back and I had a recurrence, I would fight like hell again. I certainly hope I do not have to do that...but I am a FIGHTER!

I am grateful for all my melahomies out there....while we have not met in person, I know you are all praying that my tests indicate I am still NED.