Lean on ME

When someone is sick, they often become tired of being a burden on their family. They often become tired of not being able to pitch in with daily chores. They often long for times they were the caretakers. I know I experienced all of these during the times I was actively fighting cancer. It is HARD to feel like a burden to your family.  I know I wanted to hide away and fight alone as the fight was UGLY. The side affects were UGLY and hard for my family to watch me go through. Yet, they were always there for me!

I HATED BURDENING my family when I could hardly walk 5 feet after treatment...and my family NEVER allowed me to be alone EVER!  They were always CLOSE with a joke and foot rub and just to sit there... I would sleep as the pain of treatment was too much to bare, and wake up and they were there.

For the caregiver, when you are watching someone hurt... and go through the pain of cancer... know that the patient appreciates you being there and facing cancer alone is SCARY and most people want someone to hold their hand, and it is HARD to continually ask for help. Caregivers, it is OKAY to leave our side once and a while... take care of you!

How can you help if you know someone who is sick? My thoughts are only my opinion after the experiences I have had when I fought my illness with my family by my side.

Do not ask family "what can we do to help?"  JUST HELP
Bring a meal over to a caregiver, the cancer patient is often too sick to eat, I know I was.
Offer the caregiver a break and simply sit with the sick person. Cancer is not contagious. When I was sick, I was too weak to do anything really and simply sat around. While it was boring, just to sit with someone and hold their hand. Tell them you are sorry they are sick. SIMPLE

Supporting a cancer patient and their family can be as simple as letting them know you are there for them. Letting them know they are not alone. It does not need to be A HUGE dog and pony show.  When someone fights cancer... their entire family fights cancer... let them know they are in your thoughts and prayers.

I will ALWAYS hate CANCER and I WILL ALWAYS hate what cancer did to me and my family.

I believe, if we all stick together, we can BEAT this evil illness and FIND A CURE.


 Please  message me if you know anyone who needs an angel card. I believe we all have angels with us and while I fought, I know angels were with me. I LOVE sending them out to families and patients because no one should be alone during their fight against cancer.

me after treatments: 6 years ago

me this last winter... back to life

PLEASE offer HELP & ASK for help, it is OKAY, we all need someone to lean on sometimes!
Lean on Me

RVs & Getting Older

Yesterday I passed an RV lot off the freeway and teared up. I realized that RVs represent retirement, travel, and vacations! As my sweet husband drove I knew I'd  have the opportunity to do both! I get to get older, I get to travel, I get to retire from my job! My cancer test came back clear! Tears roll down my face because I to hadn't really realized how stressed out the whole thing had really made me. Even though we're going on six years since my last treatment, the memory of it can't come right back, to the forefront of my brain. The horror of melanoma. Melanoma is so much more than just skin cancer. What you were diagnosed with it you always have to keep a lookout. It can come back in our brain, our lungs, or just about anywhere.  I am so grateful for the good doctors at the Angeles clinic, and the researchers, and the nurses and office people there! It's so important to be an advocate for your own health care! Don't settle for anyone that gives you a life expectancy of a few months. Because you just never know!

 Next time I frown at the age marks on my face, the gray hair, which I color, I will remember that I am blessed to still be here and approach each day with lots of gratitude.

I love my family and friends and everyone who supports me every time I get a cancer test! Everyone who is rooting for me to stay clean. Take care people!! Love one another, because you never know what's going to happen next!

I get to get old with this sweetie!

Melanoma, the Myth

Today is June 4th.  Melanoma awareness month ended 4 days ago.  Yet, everyday for me represents melanoma awareness.  You see, I am a stage IV melanoma survivor.  In 2011, my life expectancy was very short.  With a 16 cm tumor wrapped around my brachial plexus nerve in my left armpit, lesions in my lungs, and lesions in my sacrum.... I was dying.   In 2011 there were few choices for people in my position.


You may be thinking, isn't it just skin cancer?  Can't you just cut it out?


This is the myth.

OK, you can cut it out, but one who does must ALWAYS BE VIGILANT against the BEAST.  Melanoma is one the fastest metastasizing cancer there is with a very low rate of survival for those who are diagnosed.

Some of the worst myths out there are that UV rays do not cause melanoma. Evidence shows us that exposure to tanning beds and or extreme sunburns can damage your skin and once your skin is damaged at a molecular level, you can develop melanoma. Researchers are doing their best to determine genetic risk factors for melanoma. In my family, my mother had a stage I melanoma, I had stage IV, my cousin had a stage I melanoma, and my daughter had a precancerous mole removed already!  SO we definitely possess some predisposition to melanoma.


The bottom line: melanoma is more than something you can cut out, and melanoma is more dangerous than people think.

That is why I planning the 2nd annual AIM @ Melanoma Walk for a Cure in Laguna Niguel, CA.  This event raises money for research that is finding a way to CURE melanoma!  Please check out the link below and come say hello, I will be there!

AIM @ Melanoma

Pictures

This last picture has 4 Stage IV Melanoma FIGHTERS..... 2 are now gone.  #MoreThanJustSkinCancer
#MelanomaAwareness

FEAR & JEALOUSY

Hey you.... the one sitting on the bench enjoying the warm afternoon sunshine. Where are your sunglasses? Where is your hat?  How can you lean back and close your eyes while sitting right in the direct sun??  I am JEALOUS of you!

Unlike you, I worry about each minute I am in the sun without a hat or sunglasses or sunscreen.  I am aware that last week I spent about 24 minutes in direct sunlight without my hat. EXTREME??  

YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT I KNOW ABOUT "JUST SKIN CANCER!"

If you are new to my story, in the fall of 2000, I had a small and malicious "freckle" removed off my left forearm. This "freckle" was melanoma and resulted in a lymph node biopsy. LUCKILY, at that time, there was no more cancer in my system. My stage I diagnosis remained stage I for 10 years. Then, fall of 2010, a tumor began growing in my left armpit. It became the size of a grapefruit and by Christmas of 2010 I was officially stage IV metastatic melanoma ... with 4-6 months to live.  With some divine intervention, I found the Angeles Clinic in Santa Monica, and Dr. Hamid. He experimented with my treatment and prescribed biochemotherapy.  After 5 rounds I was bald, skinny, but ALIVE.  I am currently 6 years No Evidence of Disease.

The treatment was extremely difficult and throughout this time we were not sure I would survive.

OK, back to the sun....  

Do you sit outside with no worries?? I am jealous of you.  No worries about the sun. I wish I were you. 

The truth about the dangers of the sun:

Dangers of Tanning

I live with the fear of melanoma returning always.  I am currently N.E.D., but my melahomies know.... this disease is sneaky and heartless. It can come back at anytime....  

SO, get the right info and protect yourself from the sun.  

Peace!  

Message for New Melahomies & Families

I 

I wanted to take a moment to send out a message to those who are new to the world of cancer... or even to those who are STILL here, fighting the beast!  

While melanoma comes with some HORRIBLE statistics.... it can be beaten!  6 years ago I was fighting for my life. I had a doctor tell me to go home.  I had another tell me he'd try to save my life, and he did!  My family and I went through hell as the medicine fought the multiple lesions in my lungs, the subcutaneous tumor on my abdomen,  and in the massive 16 cm tumor in left axillary lymph nodes. Left untreated, I had 4-6 months to live.

I know you are scared as hell, I know you cry at night when everyone else is asleep. It is hard to be brave all the time. I know you feel pain every time your port is accessed... and some nurses are better at it than others and you end up feeling like a pin cushion for all the blood draws.  I know you worry beyond words about how your family will deal with your death if you do not survive.  I know....Some days are harder than others and allow yourself time to be still and quiet. There is no easy way to fight melanoma or any cancer. It is painful. I remember one drug felt like pins and needles as it entered my veins... another we nicknamed "shake and bake" for the fever I developed while on it. 

Fighting cancer is serious business!  

PLEASE KNOW that I AM here praying for you!! I am painting more ANGELS to send off and WOULD love to mail you one!  

There are so many new medicines approved for treating melanoma and more and more people are BEATING THIS UGLY DISEASE! Just know, for what it is worth, there are those of us who have been there and we are here... and we are praying... and we understand.  This is a photo of my Mom and I during treatments. I had 22 day treatment cycles, and this was the 18th or 19th day after one  of the five of 5 treatments... and I actually felt like going out and eating for a friend's birthday party.  

HUG each other and cherish one another.   

Miracles

With the holidays coming I am thinking about miracles.  While in the melanoma community we have had too many deaths and too much sadness, I want to take a moment to recognize the miracles.

Lately I have been hearing stories fighting cancer, colon cancer and other types of cancer and winning!!  People who had HUGE tumors discovered inside and they beat the odds!  People who faced death and the horrible treatments, and are here!

When we think about it, we are face challenges everyday. From medical crises of all kinds, why  do some survive and others not?  The answers come from a power higher than myself. I am grateful to meet so many survivors from so much diversity!  It gives us HOPE when there seems to be none. Many of my melahomies know this already, our community has many sad stories, many stories of re occurrences and the loss of too many people.  There comes a time to remember the miracles and that we are fighters!

I am grateful to be one of those miracles, and as one, I will continue to help find a cure for cancer.  I am planning another AIM @ Melanoma 5k Fun Run Fundraiser. I am going to continue to paint my angels for those fighting the BEAST. & I plan on sticking around a long time to continue to beat the odds!  

If you are still in the fight with cancer, know that there are those of us who have been there... and we have SURVIVED and we are rooting for you!!!  FIGHT ON and be that miracle!!!

Miracle