Things you don't may not know about cancer survivorship....

Alright, it has been in my mind how healthy, non-cancer people do not really understand how those of us who have been through cancer feel after our treatments, when we are no longer in the trenches of active treatment. I write about this as I know I am in a stage where some people may wonder why I don't just "get over it" and move on.

What you don't know about a cancer survivor:
1) scars hurt - we have scars where our ports used to be and where we had surgeries. These are sore and cause a variety of problems. My surgery was so extreme due to the nature of the huge 16 cm tumor that had wrapped around the brachial plexus nerve, that when removed it caused permanent damage to my body. My left shoulder blade is constantly pulled out of whack.

2) we often head to an infusion center to have our ports flushed. A port is under the skin and needs to be accesses with a long needle and flushed with saline water so it does not get plugged. If it is plugged, the nurse needs to call your doctor and get a prescription for some unclogging medication to flush in to your body. Going tot an infusion center is stressful as it reminds us we are cancer patients.

3) Even if we do not lose our hair or it grows back, we can be sick. Cancer patients do not always look sick. Some of the new drugs do not cause hair loss... and even on steroids we can gain weight. So, well many of us look horribly skinny during extreme treatments , such as mine which was bio-chemotherapy.... many of us have hair while fighting.

4) Please do not tell us to "not worry" and "just think good thoughts" as we are already very worried and thinking good thoughts. Of course I worry about dying and leaving my family! Making light of that is simply, sometimes, irritating. Melanoma, for example has a 87-90% chance of reoccurence for stage IV patients. So, being worried is a part of the survival.

5) We are not contagious.... & we need HUGS.

6) Please know that chemo brain is REAL, and we may have a hard time remembering things.... and we may cry randomly, as there is PTS from fighting cancer.

Fighting for your life from any stage of  any cancer is very challenging to the human spirit. Our lives have changed and we are forever different.

Peace &Love to all those in the trenches of their fight, right now. May you feel peace and acceptance for the outcome of your fight. There were many days that I realized the outcome to my fight may have been death and I remember the times I almost died..  peace & love & comfort to those who have lost their loved ones.....  because CANCER really does SUCK.

#cancercanthaveme
#melanomaawareness

A kiss from Allison, I was finally back home after being gone for 6 months to fight cancer. 

Hubby & I a month after my surgery. June 2011

How Breast Cancer Awareness Month saved my LIFE...

Breast Cancer awareness month promotes and educates the public about the benefits of self breast exams. It was during one of these self exams that I found the lump in my left armpit which turned out to be stage IV melanoma.

First, I want to share that I have 3 very good friends who have had breast cancer. 2 of which are still with us, and one who passed on after battling breast cancer for 6 years. A diagnosis of breast cancer devastates. My friend who died was only 36. She and I were studying to be teachers together when she was diagnosed. Diane was a FIGHTER and did everything in her power to survive. Her passing broke my heart. My other two friends are alive and live with disfiguring mastectomies, reconstruction surgery and the same fears of reoccurrence that I live with.

Back to how it saved my life, Thanks to the awareness from breast cancer month & from having friends who have had breast cancer, I performed self exams monthly. This exam alerted me there was something growing in my left armpit.  With my history of melanoma I knew it was possibly melanoma again. I hoped for breast cancer because of the publicity it receives and how deadly I knew melanoma could be. If it was BACK, I did not know if I could beat it.....

SO, do I buy into all the pink???  no
Am I grateful that people are talking about cancer? yes
It is important that ALL cancers receive attention as those afflicted by cancer do not all get breast cancer.

We get melanoma, prostate cancer, ovarian cancer, uterine cancer, and lung cancer to name a few. The colors vary and frankly it is disgusting that so many companies try to profit off cancer by using pink ribbons.

I will be grateful to the awareness brought by breast cancer as it did saved my life.

Dear Melanoma

This week our melanoma community lost 1 more.  Those of us who have survived the unthinkable, the "go home and get your affairs in order," the HORRIBLE diagnosis of melanoma, often wonder, why me & not them???

That my friend is not up to us... that is up to God. Why am I here?  Why is she not here?  Brandi fought as brave as I did and longer. Brandi :

I did not meet Brandi or even communicate via all our wonderful technological ways of meeting people, but I knew her.  I knew her FIGHT all too well. I knew she was up against a BEAST. Melanoma is called a beast because it often does respond to traditional methods of treating cancer, ie. chemotherapy.  It does whatever it wants... 

Well.... F-You MELANOMA!! I HATE YOU!! I hate that this beautiful young woman and so many other people are dying because of you!! I hate that my insurance company doesn't seem to take it serious that I had stage IV melanoma only 3 1/2 years ago and won't allow my pet/scan.  I HATE CANCER.

That is all from my work today.... I wanted to put it out to the cyber world HOW FRUSTRATING it is that melanoma took someone else. I refuse to say she lost her battle... Brandi is in heaven and no longer has pain.  Bless HER FAMILY.