My Book goes Electronic!

I finally figured out how to get my book on amazon. They have a self publishing option with a free lending library. My book is available both ways!  My goal is to spread the message of melanoma awareness and how dangerous a skin disease can be.  Please check it out if you have not already, and spread the news!

Thanks everyone!

In Amazon go to Kindle eBooks and do a search for "My Journey With Melanoma"

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=node%3D154606011&field-keywords=My+journey+with+melanoma&rh=n%3A154606011%2Ck%3AMy+journey+with+melanoma&ajr=1

The BiG C : CHANGE

There is no manual as to how one deals with the emotions of recovering from cancer. I had many friends who had gone through cancer treatments and yet I never truly knew what they were going through. I had even gone through my first cancer scare at 32 with a Clark’s level 4 melanoma and a lymph node biopsy. Yet, nothing prepares you for the news that you are stage IV malignant melanoma. Nothing prepares you for the fear.

Now I am 18 months out of treatment and most people do not even know I had cancer unless I tell them. I try to not let having cancer define who I am now, but that is impossible. I am a survivor!  I am a fighter! I beat the odds!

How have I changed? I am less likely to put up with mean behavior. I let things go that used to get under my skin, like who does the chores at home. Well, I am still working on that one! I speak my mind with more certainty these days. I stand taller and and let you know how I feel instead of being a doormat. Recently someone mentioned to me I was being “preachy” and my response to that was to “LIKE” it.

So, fellow cancer warriors, let’s all stand tall and say what we mean, but don’t say it mean. Because we are all on borrowed time. 

"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine!" REM

Thanksgiving

I am extremely grateful to be Alive and to have another holiday with my family. Recovery was so hard and I have had quite the "chemo brain" and there are many things I don't quite remember. My body went into survival mode during the last year. Now I am out of my chemo haze and I feel more like the old Steph! I try to be kind and make the most of everyday!

Looking Back at Treatments

This is a picture of me after my 5th bio chemo treatment in April 2011. This treatment includes 3 chemotherapy drugs plus 2 immuno-therapy drugs. The treatment required 5 days of hospitalization as my doctor had to monitor my liver functions and overall well-being during the process. I lost all of my hair and about 35 pounds during the process. A home nurse would visit me at my Mother's to get blood and provide 3 hours of hydration for 3 days after the hospitalization.

I share this because I want others to know that the fight against cancer is HARD and there are those of us who have been there and we are still here! It is amazing what the human body can go through! I still can hardly believe that is me in the photo, I was so skinny and weak. Putting my shoes on and getting dressed was exhausting!  

During the dark days of treatment I often was unsure I would make it through. I have a twin sister and usually do not feel alone, but cancer treatment was a lonely place to be...and I am eternally grateful to my family for their support.

If you are in the middle of treatment, know there are those of us who have been there and there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Cancer Diagnosis: 2 years ago: stage IV

Two years ago, my world was rocked by a stage IV Metastic Melanoma diagnosis. Scientifically, I really should not be here.  I was dying. I had one doctor hand me a LiveStrong Foundation's guide to cancer and pat me on the back and say "Good Luck." Another oncologist looked at me with anguish in his face and say, "What are you doing here?" & "I could have done this over the phone." My husband asked him if there was another stage...he was told, "You don't want to know what that stage is."

Fear filled out hearts as we started the 2 1/2 hour drive back to our mountain cabin. Thank God my Mother was with us to help drive.  My husband was pale as a ghost. I cursed the medical community as they had NOT offered me any serious help to save my life. So far, to all the doctors I had seen I should start planning my final days alive.

At that moment I knew I needed to flee the mountains. I needed to leave my beloved sanctuary in the Sierra Nevadas to save my life. At the point I had absolutely NO IDEA where to go and what to do. We drove up into the snowy mountains and picked up our daughter at a friends house.  The mood was beyond somber....it was morbid. We drove up highway 4 in a blizzard and had to gear up for the walk to the cabin.  My daughter was heart broken and cried all the way home. This was one of the last times she cried for a long time. Her anguish and heart break was to be buried deep inside her soul, coming out later in behavior of self harm.

The next day Mom and I packed up and snowmobiled down to the parking lot to her car. It was time to leave. It was time to run as fast as we could, to save my life.

TODAY:  I sit at my kitchen counter writing this blog, feeling so eternal grateful to suriving my treatments. Somedays I have to pinch myself...I am ALIVE!!  

I pray for those who are out there fighting this ugly disease of melanoma. Cancer is an ugly monster that attacked the heart and soul of the family's who face it.

I hope to join the melanoma blogging community with my thoughts and prayers to help spread awareness and HOPE to those who are diagnosed. 

Let us all make BLACK the new Pink!  Spread HOPE and awareness of the dangers of the sun and tanning.