As I head into the 5th year of being NED I still ponder how being handed a death sentence affected my family and my life. How it almost took me from my daughter, husband, sisters, mother, and friends. We were all affected in an indescribable way.
In the melanoma community, this cancer is often called the beast. It is a black beast that seeps into the corners of our bodies, eating away at us while we sleep and eat and often not showing itself until it is too late. Many people do not even find a primary location for this ugly monster becomes everyone's worst nightmare.
SCANXIETY comes every 6 months when I check out of the regular world and drive to the cancer center to get results from x-rays & blood work. During that time I am again a patient... sitting in a small doctor's office, praying that I do not see the look on my doctor's face that indicates the beast has returned. During that time, I plan how I will proceed if it is indeed back.... how will I tell my family?
I am SO VERY BLESSED that this has not happened, and with every visit I am told there was nothing exciting about any of my tests! I get to live another day!
That is when I think of those who do not get the same news and I tears and joy and sadness slide down my cheeks.
EVERY day that I survive I wonder if a new pain is the beast, returned to finished what it started. EVERY day I choose LOVE & A POSITIVE ATTITUDE in order to continue to be NED.
EVERY day I am alive is a FIGHT against MELANOMA.
I will continue to spread the message that skin cancer is SO MUCH more than "just skin cancer" and I will cringe every time someone says that to me, because it is a horrible-horrible cancer, just like any other cancers....... and I will spread HOPE as much as I can.
I am just one person, who has a passion to spread HOPE and AWARENESS as much as I can.