Some of these realizations I never wanted to have....others were very life affirming.
1st) things I never wanted to face. DEATH. This week my best friend's best furry friend died. Her kitty was her companion and he had to be put down. it was unexpected and extremely sad. It made me think that life can be so fleeting and fragile. Sometimes people are diagnosed with cancer and the last is in its last stages of ravaging the body. Families are taken totally by surprise and find themselves without their father, mother, daughter, son, or brother or sister. Cancer often blindsides those who get it.
When I was in the trenches fighting, I knew that I could die. I knew it! I had moments that I knew my family would have to deal with all that comes with losing a loved one. My twin sister would no longer have a twin sister alive. My little sister would no longer have 2 big twin sisters. My husband and daughter would no longer have a mom and wife. I knew death was near.
I prayed for my family to have the strength to carry on..... this is me after my last bio-chemo treatment. I was healing and gathering strength for surgery.
2) the other realization I have had is that life goes on after cancer. It does..... yet, I will ALWAYS be a cancer SURVIVOR! I will always live today to the fullest! I will TRY to be kind to people, even if they piss me off, because, not everyone has gone through cancer. If they had, they would know what it is like to face death. They would know what it like to think of how you are going to say good bye to your daughter. Perhaps these people would be kinder... I don't know.
What am I trying to say? BE NICE. BE KIND......
BE GRATEFUL!
I am well aware I beat the odds and I live my days in honor of those who had to say goodbye. For Jillian and for Tina, for all the families out there who are now without.
RAISE AWARENESS that "just skin cancer" can KILL.
PRAY for the doctors and scientists who are developing a VACCINE to fight this ugly cancer!
AT LEAST FOR TODAY, I will LIVE a life that is KIND to others and BE grateful I am here.
This is my Hubby & I at the Dave Matthews Band Concert at Tahoe. Doing what we love to do!!
