When I began this blog, I honestly did not know how long I would be AC. With a diagnosis as severe as mine, stage IV melanoma and with no solid treatments that were guaranteed to work, I was not guaranteed to continue living NED. But, here I am!
Yesterday I went on a hike that I had not done in over 25 years! ( I kept saying 20 years, but my husband said, "Steph, you know it was more than 20 years ago actually.") yes-yes, I KNOW! The point being, I was able to do something AC, that I had done in my early 20s. !
As you get past milestone survival years, whether it is 5 years or 10 years, you always remind the BC time in your life.
BC was when 1) you did not worry about cancer; 2) you did not know cancer terms like scanxiety; 3) you blissfully went through your days without thinking about sun protection or the fact that the sun damage you have acquired may kill you.
AC is when you 1) count the months of NED; 2) get scanxiety from either 1 month, to 6 months before you will enter into a CT/PET Scan machine 3) understand that your port needs a 1 1/2 inch needle to be accessed for monthly flushing; 4) cover up EVERY INCH of your body from the sun and live like a vampire; 5) at first you feel scared to NOT SEE YOUR doctor every week; 6) have people look at you with the attitude "Why don't you get over it?"; 7) SURVIVOR'S GUILT ( why did I survive and so many are dying?; 8) HOLY SHIT! I didn't get scanxiety until a week before scans??; 9) Dealing with more "Isn't melanoma "JUST SKIN CANCER?; 10) WOW,I MADE IT 5, 10. 15 years out from my DIAGNOSIS!!
NOW: I think of many "regular" things: my weight and fitness levels, my relationships, my job, and mostly, HOW I BEAT A DEATH sentence! SO, while I am completely exhausted in this picture, I am ALIVE & I beat CANCER!!! KEEP STRONG FELLOW MELAHOMIES!!
